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(An image of Bjork wearing her swan dress is shown briefly) (Catherine Deane (Jennifer Lopez) is in a desert taking to a boy, who is resting against an empty tree trunk) Catherine Deane: I thought we were going sailing today. (Two police agents peel back some plastic to reveal the face of Anne, which is being infested with tiny insects as an FBI photographer takes pictures of the body; "Laura Palmer's Theme" from "Twin Peaks" and a clip from “Shaft” (of a police photographer sobbing to himself) is shown along with this scene) Peter Novak (Vince Vaughn): Was the water always this low? He whispers his understanding of the criminal mind he’s hunting.

(Catherine is seen dropping a toy sailboat onto the ground before she pinches an implant that is on the skin between her thumb and index finger on one hand; Cut to Catherine in a laboratory setting being suspended in mid-air by wires after having pinched the implant on her hand; We see that she wears an unusual rubber suit while her face is covered with a cloth) NC (voiceover): So it turns out this was all just a simulation to go into the mind of the boy in a coma. NC (voiceover): Yeah, this nursery-rhyme thing is one of the many pointless tidbits that really have no purpose, like why do they need a code to know if she’s okay? For whatever reason, they call him “Mister E.” Get it? (Carl (being fully nude) is seen being hoisted up by hooked chains and facing down above the young woman from earlier (named Anne) with his skin stretched from the hooks as he lifts his head up and looks at a TV with previous video footage of Anne struggling to break out from the large tank as it fills up with water; Carl’s white dog (named Valentine) barks a few times nearby) Anne (on the TV screen): HELP ME!

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(Movie posters for several exploitation films are shown as NC speaks) NC (voiceover): The movies that take an often controversial subject and—what else? Now, a good chunk of the time, the makers of these movies know they’re making over-the-top tripe, like jailsploitation films, blacksploitation films, sexploitation films, goresploitation films… (Two doctors in the adjoining console room use a code to get a response out of Catherine) Dr. Catherine: (sounds hoarse and groggy) A pocketful of rye… NC (voiceover): You know, I’m starting to think this is one of those really highly-funded personal porno movies that somehow fooled executives into thinking it was telling a poetic story.

The result is a visually interesting but pretentiously annoying dick fuck fest that thinks it’s saying more than it really is. NC: Just like my personal highly-funded porno film, “Clown Cats with Six Breasts from Outer Space.” (A Photoshopped image of such a fake film with a cat’s head in clown makeup superimposed over a woman’s six-breasted body and appearing front of a giant spacecraft is shown) WHEN WILL I FIND THE OTHER PERSON WHO LIKES THIS?!




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